Love you'
by nic73
Summary: This is for my Paint it Red table challenge. A real challenge for me this one shot. Lisbon's reflections of Jane's declaration. I hope you like it.


**This is for my Paint it Red table challenge. A real challenge for me this one shot. Lisbon's reflections of Jane's declaration. I hope you like it. **

Lisbon closes the door to her apartment, dropping her bag on the floor she walks slowly over to her couch and flops down. She closes her eyes and images of the last few days, flash through her mind. She rubs her temple as if trying to erase them...

She had jumped when the phone Jane had given her rang. She wonders if she really believed that he would ever call. She questioned his appearance in the church, afraid it was just a dream like all the other times. The weight of the phone in her pocket was her reassurance, her anchor to the reality of his words, his smell, his breath on her neck ramming through her anger, leaving the broken pieces all around her.

_It was a ruse to catch Red John! He had faked his break down! He has a plan! He's reached out! He wants him to be a disciple! He's offering a new life! He wants Jane to kill her!_

She doesn't wonder why she agreed to the plan, what choice did she have. It was a chance to catch Red John.

_ Jane would carry on alone. Jane would be left at the mercy of his nemesis. Jane was back and he needed her help. Jane knew she would._

It took some doing but she managed to get the team to agree to help. they made if perfectly plain that it was only because she asked. They had tried to hide their disbelief about Jane's behaviour and that she was willing to help him so quickly. She had to appeal to their cop instinct to want to get the bad guy.

Seeing Jane once more in the CBI building, gave her a jolt, she had never seen him so nervous before, it was evident on his face. She had barely time to turn around after entering her office before his arms were around her and he was pulling her in close. She felt overwhelmed by his presence and smell, she could feel his body trembling against hers. She returned the hug trying to bring him reassurance through her own confidence but knew that her own emotions were most likely betraying her. She was scared, this part was dangerous, even with the precautions they had taken. But it wasn't for herself, it was for Jane, if he got it wrong and she got injured this hug told her the price he would pay:

_not the end of his plan, his job, his freedom but his sanity._

He finally released her and stepped back. She was looking into the most frantic Jane she had ever seen, He brings up the gun with shaking hands,

She didn't hear the sound of the bullet or felt him grab her hand and pull her down the back stairs of the building and in to the car that Rigsby had waiting, all she was aware of was the sound of Jane's voice in her head.

"Good luck Teresa, love you."

It played on a loop during the ride to Vegas and as they settled in the warehouse Jane directed Rigsby to. When they were finally alone she asked him what he meant by what he said. As she waited for his reply she realised she didn't want to know, she felt relief when he claimed ignorance and Lorelei rang interrupting the conversation. With a meeting with Red John set up she relaxed and went in to cop mode, glad to be able to concentrate on the job at hand.

'What are the fed's doing here! We need to get to Jane, That Darcy woman will she not leave us alone!'

Finally she got through to Darcy and persuaded her to release them from their handcuffs. Darcy told them to stay behind that they were to take no part in this, they were still under arrest. As soon as she was out of sight she jumped in to her vehicle, she instructed the others to stay where they were, but they weren't moving, they had risked enough for Jane already, but she feared for Jane, he had been alone with that monster too long, time enough for Red John to know:

_ that Jane had tricked him, made a fool out of him, was still his enemy!_

What price would he make Jane pay. Relief washed over her as she saw his lonely figure sitting beside the road, looking like he was in one piece. She pulled to a stop and with all her will power resisted running to him. She sat down beside him. He said he was fine when asked, even though he didn't look it. They sat there watching the speeding cars and the dust settle. As Jane touched her elbow and ran his hand down her arm and eventually let it settle in her hand, Lisbon's only thought was:

'I have him back.'

The whole team had been rocked by the news of Wainwright's death. How Red John got a hold of him and why were answers that maybe the woman sitting across from her could answer. This crazy plan had at least resulted in the arrest of a close disciple of Red John. There is no way that Red John would entrust the assignment of luring Patrick Jane' to a minion. Maybe if we can keep her safe we could salvage something from this mess."

_"We were lovers, did he tell you? Did I do something wrong?"_

It had shocked and hurt her more than it should have done. She knows to what lengths Jane is willing to go to catch Red John, if he will kill then surely he will sell his body. But no. this is different, his body he had shared with his wife and denying himself was another punishment of his own making.

Eventually all the paperwork was completed. She hadn't seen Jane since he walked out the interview room. His refusal to face her had made her angry. She may not be entitled to an explanation on a personal level but she certainly was on a professional one. She left the building guessing he was in the attic but she wasn't going to be the one who went to him.

The drive home and the time for reflection lessened her anger and hurt.

_Jane wasn't hers, they were partners, colleagues, friends._

Jane is free to do what ever he wants, whether she approves or not. His quest for Red John is as strong as ever and it seems there aren't any lines he isn't willing to cross. Well that's not true he wouldn't kill her.

_'Good luck Teresa, love you'_

If this six month separation has proved anything to her it is that she loves him. Her mind and heart filled with concern for his welfare and she missed him. He made her day:

_brighter, challenging, interesting, happier._

His absence left a gaping hole that burying herself in her work didn't fill. She had told herself that it was because:

_ they had worked together for so long, she couldn't break the habit of worrying about him, all they had been through together. _

He told her that he loved her:

_as a colleague? partner? best friend? ..._

She couldn't think of that now, about saying those three little words in return, if she did she knows that her heart will be broken. There are too many things to get in the way:

_Red John!_


End file.
